New year day

Hello...

Its 2011 and its time again for blogging ....

I do have some mixed feeling over the year 2010 and year 2011....

Its a new beginning and i should out aside most of the unhappiness and lead a happy life ....
What is my resolution for 2011 then??

I also not sure, many things i want... but the more i expect the worst i get ....

New year day, i stayed at my partner place, as my partner was not feeling well and needs more rest .... i bought food and drinks ... to ensure my partner does not go on hunger and accompanied till late night ...... it was a good time out ...though watching tv and eat only... its does not matter to me as long as with my partner ....

Took a nap in the afternoon and had 4 bad dreams of my partner ..... i dreamt that my partner does not care about me and left me for others ..... the dreams was consecutive .... its a like a story but happened 4 times, different scenes.

In my dream, i was eating alone as i have found that my partner does not love me anymore.. i sat witha grp of people whom i doesnt know and was eating their food ... instead of ordering mine own ... i was dazing ard and they all looked at me, and i said i will be paying for the food i ate.....
The next scene was that my partner hooked up with my friends and ignore me totally even i was beside...... my partner play with them, even when i am not ard, my partner nv notice at all .... the rest of the scenes, i cant remember already ....

The dreams made me woke up, being afraid that it might happen in this way ... i had been thinking too much .... becoz i cant feel the love yet from my partner ... is it one sided ? i dunno .... has my partner forgotten about the past totally ... it seems not ... i know it is always difficult ... but i felt bad that i got no power in my partner life to make my partner forget about the ex.....
I had tried all my best ... with i end up with misery and no energy to continue? i dunno too....

Many things, my partner had done with ex, and very sentimental and emotional sometimes.... i felt upset but what can i say.... at least i know it ....

I will continue to accompany my partner till the best i could ... staying true and faithful is my goal... but i am also afraid if one day i still cannot feel my partner's love, i might go astray .....
so i am hoping for the best ....

My partner is the one i want to accompany for the rest of my life , will it be the one?

I really hope it will ... i dun want to be hurt again... i am tired and no energy .....

I wish myself all the best and good luck ....

Regards
Alex