2nd post of the month

Good morning everyone who is seeing my post.

Today was a raining day for me, not physically having showers but than just that the day was not so well....

Last night happened to find out something that i should not even see but again my institution tells me something. so i stayed back and do a minor checking to confirm my understanding.

I really hope everything went well but it seems it does not follow the way i wanted it to be ... its just minutes before i leave that i saw with my own eyes....

Again what you saw is it really what it means .... when the person explains should we be listening ? believing ? trusting? or what ??

I asked myself the whole night and i never had any answer.... the person was not explaining as i do understand as well. it is difficult to explain at the situation.. so what can i do?? i really hope there is an angel that can tell me what to do ... haha ...

Thank you my badminton group member that woke up at 545 to replied my message.... a friend that give me advice... : love yourself more than others" was it really true? hahhaaa i also dunno ....

I have never ever love myself more than others .. i give whatever i could and lie to myself however i can. i duno why.... i prefer to give everything and nothing left for myself.....

I do not think it is unfair to myself as long as i gave the right person.....

I always tell myself since the choice is made, I have to follow .... no matter it is the right choice or not, it depends on the will power and i always believe god is fair to me , he will provide me with good luck and love...

what was my choice then you may be wondering.... : I have decided to live with it and accept the fact and trust upon the person i have feelings for .... its to gradually let things slower down and fade away ... life is like this , many ups and downs ... if we need to bother about everything , i really do not know whether i have the energy to continue ..... i really hope the person understands how i felt and improve in the future ....

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I have never expected much in life ... humble relationship, work, funds .... i am contented ..... this is all person who will wants to have , i have been through more miserable life than this ... i never learnt to trust and i nv learn to get angry with my partners.... i just cannot ....

I always rather suffer myself than to make my partner unhappy .... thats me ... a humble guy ...

So i just want to say ... i nv blame you ... neither am i angry with you .....

I hope to spend the rest of my time with you ....

lets walk hand in hand ..... together ....

Will you ?

Sad boi ...

A new beginning

Hellow myself ....

Its finally time for me to blog again .... after so long time .....

On 30th Oct 2010 starts the time of my new beginning.

I took a big step for the new beginning and as i was vunerable to many issues in my life.
Many obstacle surrounded me but i managed to get it out and settled it....

The step taken is something that i have never ever done before and i prob will nv do that again ....

How fate brings us together and we should treasure and accept each other short coming.
I mean everyone have their good and bad .... but as long as they is honesty and faithfulness in a relationship, why should we care about other issues....

But how much can i really do or how much can the person do for me, i really dunno ......

It is confusing actually to understand the thinking of others.... i really dun have the confidence after being cheated for many times.... but i am being fair to my new beginning? i know i am not .... but how can i trust when i was always the stupid one??

All i need is confidence and assurance ... but how many people will do it for me?? i really unsure.
I am not a good person nor handsome guy who can be confident....

I am just good in being concern and worried .... but who know i actually just care a lot ??
was i wrong? i know i am irritating and boring and not good.... but i just dun wish anything to happen between us .......

No matter what i know or question, i am nv angry at all... i am a guy who dunno how to be angry .... i just too kind and will give in whatever i can ....

I cant give less.... instead i use my might and give the best to my love one............

Are you able to accept me for what i am??

I rally dunno ... this world there is too many better ones out there .... who can be sure that their partner will be true ?? i know what i want and need.... i am only good at being true to my partner....

I know what you have promise me... but i just dunno when there is so many people surrounding you ......

I am just scared ........

What can i be .... and how should i be ....

Haiz... but i just want to say.... I love you.....
Nothing can change my love for you unless you decide not to love......

Thats all for today.....

Love Alec